HE'S HERE!!!!!!!

Well, the little guy finally made his appearance! I feel like we've been waiting forever, but he has finally come. I must say, I am amazed at how much he looks like Robert. We're calling him Harry. (Scroll down for picture.)






















































Gotcha! We took this picture several months ago when the boys and I went to the zoo with my friend, Josephine, and two of her four boys--she had three at the time but has since had a new little boy. This little monkey (pun intended) was hanging out right next to the glass wall to their enclosure so we took the photo op. He fits right in, I think. :)

Packing (mentally and physically)

Warning: this is more of a journal entry--therefore it's more for my benefit than yours. But any thoughts or comments are more than welcome.

If I could have it all my way, I would have a home birth. I wouldn't have to write a birth plan, pack a bag, or make a list of four to five people to call on at the last minute to babysit Craig and Ethan, depending on the time of day and peoples' vacations. I wouldn't have to prep the midwives/nurses/hospital personnel about my preferences or worry that my nurse is going to be less than cooperative and have to deal with trying to switch nurses while being in labor. I wouldn't have to drive 35 minutes, one way, every week for my checkups and another 35 minutes to the hospital (when the time comes) because my office of midwives and their hospital are the most obliging of the four offices I had consultations with while searching for a prenatal care provider that takes my insurance.

See, the thing is, my insurance won't cover anything but a hospital birth. No home births and no birthing centers. Well, that's not entirely true. They do cover ONE birthing center, but that birthing center is run by a midwife I have very little confidence in, it's in one of the sketchiest parts of Mesa, you share all but a bedroom with another birthing mother, and there aren't even chairs for the fathers to sit on in those bedrooms. They said they could bring in a folding chair. Right...for 15 hours of labor. Anyway, this office and this hospital are my best options.

The funny thing, though, is that in an area like this where you are never more than ten minutes from a hospital, no matter where you live, home births are not only less risky but they are one tenth the cost of a hospital birth for those of us who are not at risk to begin with. I guess I just resent the injustice of it.

I am all for choice, especially when it comes to childbirth. I understand that some women want the support and stability from a trained doctor who is there to let them know what the best choices might be in certain circumstances, but it should be okay for people like me to want to make my own choices, right? Doesn't it make sense that I should be allowed to choose what I want, especially since my choices are statistically proven to have lower infant and mother mortality rates and a vastly lower overall cost--things that should make a big difference to the insurance companies? Other women can choose to be induced, schedule a c-section, and stay in the hospital for several days after delivery and the insurance companies won't question spending the money. Why can't I have it my way, too? Who says their choices are more worthy than mine?

I am full of emotion at this time. I am facing less than a month from delivery and am preparing myself and my home for the arrival of this little boy. At a time when an expectant mother has an instinctual need to feel like things are in order and in control, I am feeling very out of control. We aren't even close to choosing a name for this baby and I can't stop worrying about how the hospital experience is going to go. I haven't packed a bag yet because I am certain the minute I do Murphy's Law will step in and that bag will sit there for three more weeks, eliminating all hope of an early delivery of the baby and from my pregnancy woes. Isn't that how it goes? When you're not prepared, things happen. When you are, they take their sweet time. I am trying to get the house cleaned and in order, but the farther along I get, the less energy I have to do the things I need to do and the slower I move.

Many of the things on my mind could be relieved if I just didn't have to worry about packing up and heading to the hospital for a couple of days. Like who do I ask to come spend the night with my kids if I have to go to the hospital at midnight and I barely know anyone in a ward we've only been in for a few months? And the few people I do know are the other mothers of little kids who aren't any more capable of coming over and sleeping on the couch than I would be or, if they don't have kids, they work full time.

I'm complaining, I know. But I feel so trapped and out of control when every one of my instincts is screaming for freedom and it's only getting louder. I'm hoping this reflection and mental purge will help me find some perspective. Or maybe your comments, suggestions, and thoughts might help. I know I can't do anything about the hospital issue...that's just me venting. It's the rest of the stuff I am needing to find a positive perspective.

A Day Trip

Tortilla Flat, population 6

We're always looking for fun day trips to take with the kids around the area and so far we haven't found too many things that are cheap and within a reasonable gas-usage distance. I happened to find something online the other day, though, that met all of our requirements....I don't know why we never heard of it before or why it never popped up on my google searches. It's called the Apache Trail and it's Arizona's oldest highway. It goes past Canyon Lake and a little ghost town called Tortilla Flat. It's also where the Old Dutchman's mine is (if you've ever heard of him), Roosevelt Dam, and several other sites along the loop. We only had time to see the lake and some of the towns last Saturday, though.

It only took about 30 minutes to get to the first stop (Canyon Lake) from our house. The drive was beautiful--there were rock formations, canyons, and great views. Someday we'll have to take the whole trip around the loop. Craig had been talking about going to a lake and this was perfect. There were several little beach places for families and kids to play in.


Here they are first testing the waters, very carefully. We weren't well prepared for playing in the water, as you can tell. Craig was really funny about not wanting to get his underwear wet, even though I kept telling him I brought extra in the car (in case of potty accidents, which he had none of, by the way!).

Ethan just liked to splash. He fell face-first a couple of times and got pretty well soaked. I felt so bad for him, but he seemed to enjoy it. The first time he thought it was funny, but the second time not so much. That was because the reason he fell was Craig had thrown a rock in the water, missed his target (the reeds), and accidentally hit Ethan in the back with it. I think Ethan cried not from the water so much as from the rock and the surprise of being knocked over.




Between the two of them, Ethan is always the bravest and the first to do things. Craig refused to let Robert take him further out into the lake, even carrying him. So Robert took Ethan and found this rock to stand him on. Then Craig wanted to go stand on the rock. Once Craig saw how fearless Ethan was in the lake (falling, going further out with Robert, getting his diaper wet), Craig loosened up. It wasn't long before he finally got his underwear wet. Low and behold, it wasn't nearly as awful as he feared it would be. :)

For being so "active" and dramatic, Craig is terribly cautious. And for being so mild and mellow, Ethan is sometimes too fearless for his own good. I love my little boys. They are so different and yet they are at this great age where they have fun and play and laugh together and are really best friends. Often, after Ethan goes to bed, Craig will say, "I want my friend Ethan back." I guess Robert and I are too boring. It might be hard a lot of the time, having them so close together, but I love having a playmate for Craig right now when he really seems to need it the most. I can't imagine how much he might have been driving me crazy at this stage (the threes) if Ethan wasn't there to play with him. I am so excited for this new little boy to come into the family and grow into another little friend. Yes, there will be more poop incidents, I'm sure, and more dirt, more trouble, more "don't-do-that-to-the-dog", and more heads bumps and black eyes, but I really love being the mommy to my little boys.

Adventures in potty training, kids, and dogs

When you're three and you're Craig, then this:



is to this:



what this:


is to this:


Let me 'splain. (Name that movie for extra points!) Craig's been potty training now for a couple of weeks and has been doing really well, for the most part--considering that when I first started trying after his birthday in April he was barely able to hold it (number one) for more than 10 minutes at a time but now he can go through a two hour nap. He's even been known to take himself to the potty and not even tell me about it...during play time! Pooping, however, is a whole other story. Basically, he's been so afraid to go on the potty that the only two times he hasn't gone in his underwear these last two weeks were both after he held it for so long (3-4 days) that he got constipated and began complaining of his stomach hurting. Of course, by then, the poop hurts, too, and he's afraid to go. To try and get him back on track, we've had to use little kid-safe glycerin suppositories, and even then he screams and cries like his leg is being sawed off, desperately trying to hold it against the suppository. Needless to say, it's been traumatic for everyone. Even Ethan leaves the bathroom at that point and shuts the door against the wailing. (Any advice on this would be awesome.)

But I digress. To 'splain the picture, tonight we had our second episode of using the "water thing," as Craig calls it. About an hour after the ordeal was over, Craig was playing outside when we heard him crying. Robert went to the door and asked him what was wrong. Craig said, "Jade (our dog) is not letting me do it." Robert asked what that would be. He said, "I'm trying to help her go potty." Robert asked how he was doing that. Craig then held up the stick pictured above.

Boys, boys, boys.

How to have an inexpensive date night

Robert and I went to see Harry Potter last night. It was an impromptu kind of thing. On Thursday, I realized that this was the opening weekend, Robert was getting paid on Friday, and his mom has been here this week so we had free baby sitting. We rarely get to see the new movies in the theaters or actually go out to dinner at a "real" restaurant, so our date nights are usually movies at home and ice cream. But this time it turned out so well...and we only spent a total of $38! It's more than we normally spring for, but still cheap for a movie and restaurant. Here's how we did it:

1. Free baby sitting, care of Grandma. If you don't have family in town or near by, I totally believe in trading with another couple.

2. Go to the movie before 6:00. Robert pulled into the driveway and I ran out the door to meet him as soon as he got home from work, rather than him coming in and saying hi to everyone and delaying us a bit. We made the 5:20 movie and only paid $7 each...$14 total, that is.

3. Bring your own candy. This is a no-brainer and pretty much everyone does it. I bought two bags of candy at the grocery store yesterday that only cost $4, with a coupon. This tied us over until after the movie.

4. I LOVE Applebees boneless buffalo wings so we stopped there on our way home and shared an order. We also shared a Maple Butter Blondie. With tip, the total was only $20. I had made dinner for my mother in law to feed the boys so that was waiting for us if we were still hungry when we got home.

So, all in all, we spent less than $40, which is less than we usually spend JUST going out to dinner on a special occasion, not to mention the cost of a movie. There are a lot of ways of doing a cheap date night, but I just enjoyed this date so much because we got to do all the things we love to do and don't get to very often because of the cost. It doesn't always work out this way, I know, but it did this time and I thought I'd share our success story.

21 years bad luck

It all started last Thursday. I had already been going through a rough week since my hands and arms had been going so painfully and unmercifully numb during the night that I was waking up every hour to spend twenty minutes shaking them out, trying to go back to sleep, and then waking up thirty minutes later to start the process all over again. This is another of my least favorite pregnancy side effects.

Anywho, so on Thursday I was running on very little sleep and trying to get the boys ready to go to the splash park when I heard a deafening crash from the living room followed by intense crying. I rush around the corner to find Craig and Ethan standing perfectly still, Craig is the one crying, Ethan is looking shocked, and they both have ladles in their hands. In front of them were the remnants of this formerly glass-topped side table.


We've had this table for several years and until now, they have never taken a metal spoon to it. But, the three-year-old in Craig finally got to him and he couldn't resist testing his uncontrolled big-boy strength on our poor table. So, I spent the morning cleaning up that mess and then shopping craigslist for a new table. It actually turned out okay. I found two really nice, matching side tables for $25 where before we only had the one table.

The saga continues. I ended up going to the emergency room on Friday on recommendation from my doctor's office to be checked for blood clots or other complications. Fortunately, there was nothing serious. Unfortunately, without a diagnosis there is also no treatment. They did give me wrist braces to wear at night to reduce swelling, which have actually worked a little. To help me out, Robert called his mom to ask her to come down for a week. She got here on Sunday, late morning.

Early Sunday morning, Robert got up with the boys (we have a deal where he sleeps in on Saturday mornings and I sleep in on Sundays). I didn't get my morning to sleep in that day, though, since he came in a few minutes later and said that he needed my help. Our dog, Jade, had apparently come down with something and had pooped (if you could call it that without getting into too many details) all over her kennel and the wall next to it. The smell permeated the main part of the house. Robert, bless his heart, cleaned it up while I kept the kids away. It made for quite a gross and stressful morning.

Robert's mom brought her two dogs with her when she came, and they are very well behaved for the most part. On Monday night, however, we all had a bad night. First of all, we spent quite a bit of time outside cleaning up the backyard from some projects and we were all hot, sweaty, and tired. I came in to check on Craig and Ethan when I heard another crash come from the kitchen. Then I saw the culprit run past me:

This is Bella, the larger of my mother-in-laws two dogs. I went to the kitchen and found the left overs from the mexican lasagna I had made for dinner and my pyrex casserole dish shattered all over the kitchen floor. I kept Craig and Ethan away as Robert's mom cleaned up the mess. Robert came in and helped her finish it up. As Robert turned to take the glass and lasagna filled trash bag outside, he brushed up against this which was hanging on the wall:

It's a candle holder that Robert bought me for my birthday last year. Notice there are no candles in it? There used to be three glass candle holders with candles sitting on it. It fell off the wall and shattered all the candle holders, embedding tiny shards of glass in the candles. That mess got cleaned up, we put the kids to bed, and tied ourselves in straight jackets for the rest of the night. Since then, nothing else of consequence has happened. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Fourth of July

As we drove away to our 4th of July festivities yesterday, I realized I had forgotten the camera again. That's the hardest thing for me to remember amongst the changes of clothes, sun screen, towels, floaties, food, extra diapers, sippy cups, and bug repellent. We had a really great day, though. In the morning we went to the church for a breakfast and flag ceremony. It was still early when we got home, so we played outside on our beautiful lawn while Robert cleaned up some stuff (paving stones, tools, extra PVC). It was hot, but we put the spray nozzle on the hose and let Craig have at it. We were all nicely wet down pretty soon. After that, we were all hungry and tired from all the sun and play time, so we had lunch and everyone took naps. I was out for two hours before I knew it. Pretty soon the kids were up and we were getting ready to go to a friend's house for swimming, barbecuing, and fireworks. The boys haven't been swimming much in their little lives, but they love water. Ethan took to it like a fish. He even dunked himself accidentally several times but wasn't the slightest bit phased. Seeing Ethan's courage, Craig finally decided he could get his face wet, too. Before we knew it, we had been in the pool for nearly two hours and it was time to eat. We had steaks, potato salad, fruit, corn on the cob, and every awesome summer-time food you can imagine. Then it was fireworks (which was a first for Craig and Ethan) and home to bed. We all had a really great time. Craig and Ethan seemed to just love every minute. One of the best parts for them, I think, was when our friends let their two "children" come play in the pool: Mario and Luigi, the dogs. :) It was a great day...exactly what I would have expected this day to be.

If I had to pick a favorite holiday other than Christmas, it would the Fourth of July. Celebrating our nation mixed with the best parts of the summer just can't be beat.

Skeeter Syndrome

My poor, sweet-face little Ethan has this condition I've just learned about called Skeeter Syndrome. Anyone heard of it? It basically means that he has these horrible bruising and swelling reactions to mosquito bites. I guess some people even go into anaphylactic shock, but that's pretty rare. He's had bad reactions before, but those bites were on his legs and back. One was on the side of his head and it grew into a huge goose egg-type knot. We thought he had bumped his head until we saw him scratching the bite mark right in the middle. I noticed a bite on his cheek the other day and yesterday, right as we got to church, it began to swell into his eye. I gave him some benadryl at bed time last night, but it was still worse this morning. It seems to take a day or two before it really swells and the swelling lasts a day or two as well. Then it starts to go down and eventually, he's fine. It seems to itch a little once in a while, but not too badly. It just looks so awful. Every time I look at him my heart breaks because it looks so miserable. When he lays down, he can't keep the lid open at all, but sitting and standing he can open it a little more than halfway. I just feel so sorry for him.