I ain't gonna lie

Someone please tell me they can relate to this.

For the past few weeks I have been feeling awful. Not just nauseous and sick. But angry, mean, moody, and everyone (especially Robert) annoys the heck out of me. I keep waiting for this to pass, but it just keeps lingering! Maybe our family blog isn't the best place to post something like this, but I just need to know I'm not alone here. What do I do? I've said it before--I feel the old saying is completely true, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." That's how it is here. So now that I'm going through all this, everyone else is crankier and moodier, too, which (of course) makes it harder for me to cope. I feel like every last ounce of inner peace I've stored up through life has drained from me and I'm constantly in turmoil. I was moody with Craig and Ethan, but nothing like this. Maybe this one is a girl and she will be the biggest drama queen on the planet. Or maybe she'll get it all out of her system now through me and will be a little Jane Bennett. (You know, from Pride and Prejudice?) Or maybe it's just a baby causing all these raging hormones and the best we can do is hold on until it's over.

Any other tips or suggestions?

Reverie

I go through my days noticing things happening here and there and think to myself, "That would be a great blog post. You wouldn't even need pictures." Sometimes I even formulate clever phrases in my head. Later, I get some time to sit at the computer and...nothing. I can't remember a darn thing. Right now is one of those times. So, instead I'm going to write whatever comes to mind.

I've been thinking a lot lately about where I imagine us settling someday. I hate moving, especially long moves, so I've resisted the idea of leaving Arizona. Or Fountain Hills, for that matter. However, I've come to realize that I expect certain things in life in order to have a fulfilling experience. I can be happy anywhere that I have my family, so where ever the Lord takes (or keeps) us is where I can make a home. But if I could choose where we'd end up, it would have to meet these requirements.

1. Some semblance of different seasons other than just different temperatures.
2. In the country, but near enough to a city and airport.
3. Within an hour or two of a temple.
4. Small town, summer festivals, close knit community.
5. Average-sized ward, not the kind where you're lost in a sea of faces.
6. Farm land nearby to get fresh produce for canning.

That's all I can think of right now. Is that asking too much? Does everyone want the same thing--the "good old days?" Do you think it's possible? We used to live in a place that very nearly met all of these requirements. The only exception was it was three and a half hours from the temple, but all the other parts were so thoroughly met, it made up for the longer drive. That place was Stevensville, MT. I have felt home sick for that place for the entire year and a half since we left. When the decision came to leave Montana, I was so excited to come to Arizona. It has been everything I imagined it would be and I have thoroughly enjoyed all the benefits of living here: the zoo, the children's museum, the awesome libraries, the conveniences of living in a city, the restaurants. If nothing else, the job opportunities. Which brings me to the clincher. Places that I dream of living, places like Stevensville, Montana, are out there. The problem is not finding them or even moving to them, it's finding jobs in them. Where does a chef find work in a town with a diner that is only open for lunch and a family run burger joint? "Open your own place," people have said, but that takes $$ and there is a small chance of success in a place where the population of horses is higher than people.

I keep the faith that somehow, someday it will work out and we can go back to our life and our friends in Montana. That once we do, our sojourn here in the wilderness of the big city will have been something we "got out of our systems" and we'll raise our children in that beautiful place with the house, the land, the animals, and the small town life we dream about. Of course, I don't expect there to be no complications and problems once we reach our Eden, but I like to think their stings will be lessened by the healing powers of the Bitterroot Mountains.

Ah, well, now to reality. Off to get dressed, go to the library, and buy some diapers and dog food!

Guitars, guitars, guitars

A few days ago, Craig discovered Robert's and my guitars stuffed into the back of our closet and has been obsessed ever since. Every time I put them away, he pulls them out again. I'll sit and play it with him. He loves it when I "play it loud," he says. I only know two songs by heart anymore, but (bless his heart) each time I play one he acts like it's the best thing he's ever heard. The guitar in this picture is mine, the "less valuable" one. Yesterday, he was gone and totally quiet for about fifteen minutes, so I went looking for him. I found him upstairs in our room sitting just like he is in the picture. So cool. So mellow.

Unfortunately, today my guitar turned from being a really cool way to make sounds and music to a platform for his race cars. And then it was a stepping stool. Ah well, all good things must come to an end. My guitar now lives at the top of Ethan's closet until it can become "new-to-him" again.

Christmas Day

I didn't get many pictures of Christmas Day. I was either exhausted or too busy. Once everyone was up and at 'em, we started opening presents. Robert's mom was here for a few days, but other than that it was just us this year. I made cinnamon rolls and bacon for breakfast. Craig really had fun opening presents. We hadn't kept any presents under the tree at all so when they came down Christmas morning, they were all there and their stockings were full. I loved watching Craig as he came downstairs and saw it all. We'd been talking about Santa coming and leaving presents for a while, but I think he sort of got it when he saw it all there. Craig's favorite present is the red guitar we got him. In fact, it's the only picture I took. Don't ask me why he's naked. He's at that stage where he likes to take all of his clothes off.


He likes to watch The Wiggles and play his guitar. He'll play and tell me to sing and then Ethan will dance. Ethan had fun, too, but he was just going along with the opening of presents for the fun of it. Robert's mom got them a remote control truck which they love, too. I got Robert some cookbooks he's been wanting called Ad Hoc and Under Pressure written by his favorite chef, Thomas Keller. He has his first two books already, so this rounded off his collection. He got me a new set of kitchen knives. I've already broken them in and cut myself with them, too. :) I was pulling them out of the box and their wrappings and handing them to Robert as he put them in the knife block. I got so excited I wasn't paying attention and one of them nicked the heal of my hand. They're sharp, so it was a clean cut. :) We had prime rib, funeral potatoes, and asparagus for dinner and orange marmalade cake for dessert. The best part of the day, though, was unexpected. Once we were done with presents and breakfast, all of us adults felt totally wiped out so we laid down. The boys were so preoccupied by all their new stuff, we didn't have to worry about them. At one point, Ethan came in ready for a nap, so I put him down, too and went back to bed. All in all, I got about an hour and a half nap Christmas morning! It was very nice. We stayed in all day, watched The Muppets Christmas Carol, and played with the new toys.

I know it's been a great, fulfilling Christmas season when Christmas Day comes and goes and I feel ready to take down the decorations and get on with the new year. That's how I feel now. Not sad that Christmas is gone, but excited for what lies ahead.

Christmas Goings On

I tried to leave my last post up long enough for everyone to see it, but I guess people are getting busy with the holidays and don't have as much time for blogging and reading blogs, so I am moving on. If you haven't seen my last post, then be sure to scroll down.


Anywho, a couple Mondays ago, we went to the local Bass Pro Shops to see Santa and his winter wonderland. It was awesome! They had toys to play with, trains, so many things for a couple of little boys to see, and (of course) Santa! The line wasn't that bad (much better than the mall, I hear). I thought Craig would be afraid to sit on the old man's lap. Ethan is usually the one to be all for something new so we have to have Craig watch Ethan do it first before he wants to try. However, thanks to our morning friends at Nick Jr. and their Christmas cartoons, Craig was totally prepared for the hairy white guy in a big red suit. Ever since, he's been asking to go back and see Santa again. Ethan, however, was the reluctant one, but he made it through.

I've also been baking a lot of Christmas cookies this year. It's tiring and a lot of work, but there's just that Christmas spirit that makes it worth it. This year I did these:

One dozen Brandy Snaps, from Pioneer Woman (I used maple instead of brandy). Sadly, they were a disappointment. Not "snappy" at all--more chewy. Way too much molasses (unless you like that sort of thing, which we don't). I didn't even bother putting them on the Christmas plates. Oh well.

Four dozen Sugar Cookie Buttons with Licorice Laces. I got this idea from the Family Fun magazine but the cookie recipe I used is called Favorite Sugar Cookies from Tasty Kitchen (I think).

Four dozen Gingerbread Men. The recipe I used for these was actually a Swedish cookie called a Pepperkaker, which is kind of like a Swedish gingerbread but different and better. There are some wide variations out there, so if you want the recipe I used, let me know.


Two dozen Peppermint Chocolate Pinwheels from Food Network's 12 Days of Cookies eNewsletter. They are okay, but I wish I had used semi-sweet instead of unsweetened chocolate and the Favorite Sugar Cookie recipe instead of the one they provided. They made the cut, though.


And last but not least, 36 mice (some with Oreo bottoms and some without). If you haven't seen these before, they are really easy. I first made them with a lady and one of my companions on my mission. You dip maraschino cherries (with stems) in chocolate, set it on half an Oreo with the cream, push a Hershey Kiss on for the head, and stand up two almond slices for ears. I used left over Royal Icing from the gingerbread men for the eyes and noses. They're a lot of fun to eat, too. If you start with the head, it's kind of like a real mouse head: small, firm, but not too hard. Then the body is red inside and squishy. (No, I haven't eaten many mice in my day. Snails, yes, mice, no.) I know, that's gross, but I thought it was kind of a cool comparison nonetheless.

All in all, I made 156 cookies (including the mice) and distributed them onto about ten plates (I think) with some leftovers. Phew. Now we are off to deliver them! Happy Baking!

More NEWS

This is what I emailed to Robert at work last week and then called him and told him to check his email while I was on the phone. I couldn't wait until he got home.

Okay, it's only been a week since I found out but I can't stand not telling people anymore.

How am I feeling, you might ask? Great, until today. As I was going to bed I felt a little person inside my head begin pounding a little hammer. It didn't go away after (sort of) sleeping or taking Tylenol. The pounding is making me feel nauseous, the constant drumming kept me from getting much solid rest last night, and when I passed out for 20 minutes this morning, Craig and Ethan created about 30 minutes of clean up time by bringing a Tonka dump truck full of rocks into the living room and evenly spreading them around.

Regardless of all this, I am really excited and feel like this is the right time. I know this will all pass. More will come, but this will pass nonetheless. :)

Ladies and Gentlemen...our 2010 Graduate!

It's been 11 years since I began my college experience at Ricks in June of 1999. There have been many breaks in my education (work, mission, marriage, kids, etc.). Last year, fall of 2009, I began an online program through BYU-Idaho to complete my degree and here I sit, over a year later, facing GRADUATION!

I just took my finals and posted my last posts in the discussion boards. On Saturday, December 18, 2010 I will be an official graduate of BYU-Idaho with a Bachelors in University Studies and a minor in Communications!!!!!

This is something I have always wanted to accomplish but when Robert I got engaged six years ago, I knew it wouldn't happen traditionally for me. I can't explain how awesome it feels to have done this through what some people might call one of the most difficult times in life: having young children, moving, changing jobs, etc. Ethan was only five days old when I began my classes last year but I knew if I didn't take this opportunity now with this online program, I would never do it. I knew things would only get harder and more complicated as the years passed. In January I am starting an online program to get my teaching certificate and will be done with that by this time next year. If I've learned anything in life, I've learned that it's best to start now than to put it off (if possible). I am saying this for all of you out there who have been wanting to do something but didn't think you could right now.

There's no time like the present. Carpe diem!

(There. That's my graduation speech. :))

Our little Pavarati

We've been working with Craig on his ABCs and, since it's the same tune and The Wiggles sing it, he's learned Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Here he is showing off. :)

What is it with kids, dogs, and blankets?

Craig is under the blanket.

I can't seem to wash or fold a blanket without these guys taking it first and rolling around on the floor with it. This one had just come out of the dryer so it was nice and warm. Why do they love these blankets so much, anyway? Are your kids/dog like that?

The 10 Best Cities for Babies/Young Families

I have a subscription to Parents magazine. Most of the time they offer pandering, irritating advice on parenting that only applies to wealthy, middle-aged parents living in big cities (like how to choose a good nanny, for example). I do like their family time ideas, though, and every issue usually has at least one good article. In the November issue they had an article listing the ten best cities for young families to live in. I hoped that the Phoenix area might have made the list somewhere, but I was pleasantly surprised. Did your nearest city make the list?

We live in a (relatively) small community called Fountain Hills. Most people know this area as Scottsdale. And Scottsdale borders Phoenix to the East. Here's the list, beginning at the number one best city to raise a family.

1. SCOTTSDALE! No, joke. :)
2. Fort Wayne, IN
3. Lincoln, NE
4. Pittsburgh
5. Portland, OR (We lived there, too.)
6. Madison, WI
7. PHOENIX! Again, no joke. :)
8. St. Paul, MN
9. Oklahoma City
10. Boston (That one surprises me)

All in all, the best places to live are either in Arizona or the midwest, for the most part. They actually had chosen 100 cities to survey in all. I'm not sure how they chose these 100 cities to being with, but here are a few facts about the rest of the list. You can go here to see the full list.

Number 11 on the list is Mesa! We lived there until earlier this year. Just south of Mesa is Gilbert, which made number 14 on the list and Chandler, which is slightly to the West, made number 17. Glendale, which is West of Phoenix, is number 25. Arizona is the place to be, folks. :) For all the NCRM missionaries out there, Raleigh made number 23 and Charlotte was pushed to number 77! Ha Ha! Even New York got #60. Other than that, for those Californians out there, Stockton did surprisingly well at #93 (being the armpit of California and all) and the very last city on the list? The one that had the worst stats for a family-friendly city? The worst crime, the least family activities, the worst child care resources, the worst finances, and the most dangerous place for a family? Number 100 on the list is................

MODESTO, CA!

For those of you who don't know, my hometown is about 1 1/2 hours away from Modesto, it's where our stake center was, where we would go to the mall, and the closest place with anything like an amusement park.

I just thought this was funny and ironic and interesting. I hope it was to all of you, too. :)

Where did you go, Fairport NY?

Fairport NY has disappeared from my site tracker and now Salt Lake City is stalking me....


I think I know who the culprit is.

Thanksgiving

Sorry, no picture. I wanted to take a picture on Thanksgiving Day, but it just didn't work out. I started on Wednesday and made a pumpkin roll, a pecan pie, a pumpkin cream cheese pie, boiled eggs to "devil" later, brined the turkey, and put together the sweet potato casserole to be baked on Thursday. I think that's it. Anyway, it was a busy day. Robert did the rest on Thursday while I cleaned and prepped the house. What a nice trade off, don't you think? We were trying to get some people over who might not have family nearby, but everyone either had family or were going out of town. We did, however, find a woman in the ward who has two sons in primary (so I know the family a little) but she's a single mom and the boys were with their dad for the day. Her parents were out of town visiting a sibling, so she was going to be all alone. We planned to eat at 3:00, but by the time we all sat down around then, Craig and Ethan were both sound asleep for their naps. So it was just the three of us with a huge table full of food. :) Eventually the boys did get up and eat a little, she took some leftovers home, and we worked on the food over the next few days. All that's left now is some stuffing and a few pieces of pie. And two bottles of Martinellis. I love Thanksgiving and the big gatherings of family and friends. This year was nice, but here's to hoping for more and merrier next year!

Cute things

Jade got a bath today. I also blow-dried her (what IS the proper conjugation for that word, anyway?) She looks pitiful, but I just can't help but laugh at her sad-sack little face. It's like she's pleading for her life. A wet dog is always good for a laugh.

Craig has been getting better with the camera lately. He's learning how to point and shoot. The other day he brought me the camera and said, "Mom, take picture of Craig." And then he smiled this toothy smile. One more thing about Craig: I usually tell him he's a big boy or a cute boy or a smart boy, etc. But when I ask him, "Are you a big boy?" he says, "No." However, the other day we were at Target and he was carrying a little hand basket which he had filled with toy cars (which were strategically placed on the bottom shelf of a display at the front of the store). He was really struggling with it so I said, "Do you want Daddy to help you carry that?" To which Craig replied, "No, I carry it. I'm a big boy." It was so cute and it made me laugh out loud in the middle of the aisle. Of course then he spent the next ten minutes saying, "I'm a big boy, Mom. Hey Mom, I'm a big boy. Mom? MOM? I'm a big boy!" I love my little broken record. :)

What could be better?

Popcorn and chocolate milk. They were in heaven. And so was I...they were quiet for about 20 minutes solid! Not long after this picture was taken, we were vacuuming popcorn off the couch, the floor, in between the cushions...

What have YOU won at a Relief Society activity?

We had an activity tonight where people were supposed to bring an unwanted item to "auction" off. Before the auction, we got "money" (or points) based on our answers to questions like, "Have you done your scripture reading everyday for the last month," and, "Have you done your visiting teaching." Then we used those points to bid on items. Someone (no one said who it was) brought two highly anticipated bags. Now, I've never been one for name brands and expensive things, but it was thrilling to win this. It's nice and roomy, too. It could hold some diapers, a water bottle, and a change of kid's clothes.

Or maybe I'll see what I can get for it on eBay. :)

A Belated Birthday Post

I have been meaning to get this posted, but time has been slipping by me. Robert started his new job on Friday and before that we were all just bumping around the house all day, trying to get things done without our normal routine. So, things have settled, Sunday has come (which is when I find time to do my posts usually) and this is the next one my list.

Robert turned 28 on November 7th! We were in California so we had a big dinner at my parents' house with my sister and her kids. For the birthday "cake" I made these peanut butter and jelly cupcakes that Robert is eating in his picture. They turned out really well and were so easy. I saw the idea on a Foodnetwork show called Cupcake Wars. You just mix together a cake mix, put a little dollop in the bottom of a lined cupcake tin, put a bit of jelly or jam in the middle, some more batter on top and bake as the box says. Then you frost with peanut butter icing. I used this recipe. That's it! Unfortunately, his birthday present hadn't arrived before I left for California and then it got mailed to our old address so he didn't get it until about a week after his birthday, but he loves it. I got him a set of CDs called Malt Shop Memories. It's all the fifties music a person could want. So, that's it. Happy birthday, Robert! I love you!

California, there we went

I've been dreaming of going to California for a visit all year. My chance finally came and we jumped on it. My aunt, who's been meeting with the missionaries for several months, decided to get baptized! At first I was debating about going due to other conflicting things, but when my mom told me that my brother was flying out from Colorado Springs to baptize her, I loaded up Craig and Ethan the next morning and we were off! It's been almost two years since I've seen my brother and his family and three and a half years since all four of us siblings were together. It was the best time of year to go. I love the fall and Sonora (my home town) has everything I love about it.

First, we went to a little farm called Covers (pronounced co-vers, not cu-vers). They have apple orchards, a train ride, and farm animals. Craig's favorite things were the chickens and the train. Here are Craig and Ethan with two of their cousins at the little hay maze there.


And here's the train. This little train ride was so peaceful. It goes around the farm and past the apple orchards. They even take you through two tunnels and you go around twice! Craig was so excited to go through the tunnels and Ethan was just about rocked to sleep by the motion of it. Oh, and that's not Cousin It behind me--that's the back of my sister's head.

The next day we went to a little state park/ghost town called Columbia. It's charming, nostalgic (I have many memories there plus it takes you right into Little House on the Prairie), and beautiful. Once again, we saw chickens! They sell little bags of feed you can throw in to them. Craig was cracking up when the seed would fall on their backs and they would frantically peck around for it.


When we were kids, one of the places we loved to go in Columbia was to what we called Rock City. Since Columbia is an old mining town, there are several places where the dirt was washed away, leaving these big, lumpy boulders exposed. It was very poignant for me to see Craig and my sister's girls playing on these rocks, discovering all the cool little nooks and crannies as if they are the first to find them.
Here are two shots to give you an idea of how pretty and serene this place is. It really feels magical (however corny that might sound). Yes, the first is an outhouse, but it makes me wonder the same thing I think every time I see an old building, "If these walls could talk..."

One picture I wanted to take but never had the chance was of downtown Sonora. There were these beautiful, vibrant red trees deposited here and there among the yellows and fading greens. I seriously wondered if those trees had always been there or if I had just never noticed them before. I guess when I was a kid I always thought that everyone's hometowns had trees that turned red and orange and yellow in the fall. Palm trees don't. (Sorry, Arizona. There are other things I love about you.)

My parents have a picture of my brother and sisters and I sitting on the seat of this wagon sometime in the late 1980s or early 90s. It was a traditional picture, so of course I had to have one with Craig and Ethan. Three of my nieces are riding in the back: L-R Lily, Lanie, and Kate. The next picture is of all the cousins on the seat together.

Saturday was the day we had been waiting for: Nancie's baptism. Here she is with my brother before the baptism.

It was a really neat experience. My parents have been members for almost 40 years and we all thought that if any of the extended family would be baptized it would have happened a long time ago. It just goes to show you that everything happens when it is supposed to happen. Here we all are together afterward. We had a little dinner and time to talk before heading home. Robert, the boys, and I went back to Sonora so we could attend church and celebrate Robert's birthday (another post).

Unfortunately, Scott's wife and three kids couldn't come out with him. He, himself, was only able to be there for about 24 hours before flying back for church on Sunday. But it was great to see him. Now that I think about it, we should have gotten a picture of all four of us together. Oh well. We'll just have to do that next time!

Halloween (finally)

I'm going to start with Halloween pictures and then move on to our California trip.

We had a busy Halloween this year. On Friday night we had the church party. It was fun, but Robert was working so we had cut the night short. I find my patience running short on things like that when I'm flying solo. Saturday was the town party. They had trick or treating at the businesses up the main street and at the top there was a smallish carnival. The best part of that was the fire truck. Craig got to touch it and sit in it and talk a real firefighter. He loved that part. Sunday we went trick or treating in a really good neighborhood near the elementary school. We got to dress up a lot, which I love to do. Craig really liked it, too, for the first time.

Craig was a little chef. Robert's been dying to get him his own little chef coat and we finally decided to justify it for his Halloween costume. He was resistant at first, but then decided it was totally awesome. Once he made the connection between Halloween=candy=party with friends, I could hardly keep the jacket off of him. Ethan wore the Batman costume that Craig wore two years ago. I made myself a gypsy outfit that I was rather proud of. Unfortunately, I was never able to get a really good picture of it. Here we are, all together:

Here's a close up of Ethan in his costume and below that is one of Craig when he was wearing it. It's funny to me because Ethan is over a year, but smallish for his age. When Craig wore the costume, he was only six months old.

The cutest little batmen you'll ever see! (By the way, Craig wasn't really standing at this age...I just wanted a full body shot so I propped him up against the couch. Two seconds after this picture was taken he fell over. )

I'm waiting....

I would like to say that we JUST got back from California and not that we've been back almost a week and I still haven't posted the pictures I promised, but unfortunately the last one is true. I do have a (kind of) good excuse, though. My camera batteries died while we were there and I hadn't brought the charger. My sister let me know borrow some batteries until we left, but then the old miser took them back when we left. :) I have been trying to charge the batteries, but something might be wrong with the charger or I keep plugging it into bad outlets. Unfortunately, I fear the first one is true. So, I need to buy some batteries. Or steal some from Craig and Ethan's toys. Either way, I will try to get those pictures downloaded soon and get them posted.

As another note (and another reason that I've had a hard time getting much computer time this week other than what I do for my classes) is because Robert's been home. He's starting a new job next week and he quit the last one when this new one was offered last week so he could come out to California. When he's home the routine changes and I can't seem to get some of the things done that I normally would, especially on the computer. We're really excited about the new job, though. He'll be working for a company called Lehi Valley Trading Company. They make snack foods and sell them in grocery stores. One of their biggest accounts is with the Kroger markets: Kroger, Frys, and Smiths. He will be the manager in charge of quality control and developing recipes for a new line of canned foods. It's a really great opportunity and just another step up on his career path. He'll work normal hours, too: M-F, 8-5. I'm really excited to have him off on the weekends and home in the evenings. We can count on him being home on the holidays and getting regular paid time off. Well, I gotta go. That's the update so far. More to come later.

Catching up

I have pictures from Halloween I want to post but have been in California this week. I decided to come as a last minute thing on Monday, so here I am. When we get back next week I'll have Halloween stuff and CA stuff. See you then!